by Marisue Alsobrook 

Empty Nest 

“I don’t like that term, but that’s where I find myself.  Most of my adult life was spent learning to be a parent and now that I kind of know what I’m doing, I’m out of the job.” 

Life After Kids 

“Where are the kids?” I ask you.  Out terrorizing the neighborhood, using what they’ve learned, and I just hope we gave them enough information.  Frankly, the world scares me.  I try not to look at the tough stuff much. An ostrich buries their head in the sand; I guess that’s me, at least for now.

I’m giving in to “me” lately.  Most of the time, that feels pretty good, so I keep doing it.  But, it also makes me feel guilty.  I’m not used to thinking and planning things just for my husband and myself, or spending my paycheck on something I want.  It feels very strange.

Last night our bosses took us out on a dinner boat for Christmas.  We arranged for a limousine, as I had a contact who offered the use of one in her fleet.  The “snap to attention” that occurred at the Harbor/Resort as we drove up was worth the whole evening. 

Even though Limos frequently pull up at the hotel, they are still  commanding, and it was fun for “plain ol’ me” to step out as heads were turning, hoping to find someone famous behind that long stretch of glimmer and dark glass. 

Are We Having Fun Yet? 

Plain ol’ me is struggling to “find herself” as we used to say in the 60’s.   What I’ve found so far is a lonely over-worked woman, trying to fill the hours in the evenings with something other than more work. 

Family History 

Family history is so important to the present.  If we were in the middle of our history, we’d have some connections to help introduce us more comfortably to this stage of life.  For now, I hear myself saying “It’s hard to make friends” sounding a lot like my kids as they went off to a new class or school.  Isn’t it odd how the cycle of life repeats?  

I can See For Miles 

On a road trip in the car, or a vacation, remember your kids asking  “How many more miles is it?”  Over and over, they had to know.   Now, sometimes I’m asking that same question.  When will the empty nest become more comfy? How many more miles is IT?

Bumpy Roads 

Though we may be hitting a few speed bumps right now, I’m sure the miles ahead are full of new adventure and happy times.  But tell that to my aching joints.  Lynn and I have been talking to ourselves, saying “go out, get around people,” yada, yada, yada.  That’s sounds good ~ but instead I find myself in the middle of a hot bath, wanting to cry.

Healthy Self-Indulgence 

So, today, in keeping with the new me, I took part of the Christmas bonus from our bosses and bought a laptop.  Once again, here comes the guilt, but I bet it wears off when I take the computer out of the box, don’t you?

Now, I’m forced to take some of the advice I gave to other families and kids:  When you don’t feel like smiling, pretend you do.  When life sucks, get a straw.  When you’re lonely, read a book, go to a movie, pretend you’re not. 

Fake it ‘Til You Make It 

Pretending, if it doesn’t get out of hand, can be quite healing.  We do it all the time and not realize it, but when you’re depressed you are more conscious of the effort to pull out of it.  

The Enemy 

We can do it, though.  The enemy, Time, can become my good friend.  I can get out of this empty nest feeling, and get re-acquainted with myself and my husband.  We’ll be so happy one day soon, that instead of crying ‘cuz the kids are leaving after a visit, we’ll be crying ‘cuz they’re coming for a visit.

TEASING.  or not.  See you at the  next post as I talk more about life after kids.   

Related Posts:

1. Got the Blues? Climb UP The Down Staircase with Self Talk
2. Crazy Cravings and A Warehouse of Worthless Information
3. The Secret to Beating the Holiday Blues: How Serving Others Brings Peace!
4. Holiday Blues: Dancin’ and Prancin’ With Santa Claus
5. Lasting Life Links: Smiling and 5 Reasons Why We Should
6. Time Out For Parents - Give Yourself A Break!