by Marisue Alsobrook 

“It’s a new year, let’s take a fresh look at our parenting.  Do these 4 questions sound like you?

Are you wishing your home was running smoothly? 

Do you wish your children showed more respect?

Do you wish your kids talked with you?

Do you want peace in your home?

If so, all things are possible.  It can happen!  After parenting 250 children, I realized somewhere in the middle of those years, that the only person I could change was me, and by changing ME, oddly enough, those around me often responded favorably.” 

A Place To Start

Let’s begin with ourselves.  As a parent, it’s been my experience, that when looking for parent help, we tend to look too far away.  Most of the time, our help lies right under our nose.

To help you gain a sharper focus, Here Five Self-Check Parenting Help Questions:

1. What do I want from my kids that I don’t already have?  Now think about this question.  Sometimes we can improve things by appreciating what we already have.  Take a moment to list and count the good things your kids do.
2. What can I do TODAY to improve the home “atmosphere?” List at least 5 things you can really do.  Think small.  For example:  Play happy music, turn off the news at night, (I can’t tell you how much TURNING OFF CNN, OR FOX NEWS (sorry, guys) in the evening, HELPED my attitude!!!  Listen to it after the kids go to bed!) spend an hour listening to your children talk, clean the bathrooms before anyone gets home, set up a study/reading/craft area, organize the laundry room, light a candle, bake something that smells good and bake it often, Smile.
3. Read out loud to your kids, even if just for a few minutes at night, no matter what their age.  Research shows that kids who hear their parents talk about or read something of interest, actually become more INTERESTED in their parents.
4. Ask your kids to read something to you from their text books, or something they enjoy.  Same as point 3, in reverse.  As you listen to your kids talk or read about something they are involved in, parents become more interested in their kid’s life, and kid’s begin to develop the habit of “including” their parents.
5. Ask your kids to “help” you clean YOUR room, and then agree to return the favor.  If they say “no,” ask them to keep you company as you work in your own room. 

From the Mouths of Babes

Life teaches us if we’re willing to learn.  I remember little Jason.  He wasn’t a foster child but he was a challenging young 7 year old in my first grade class.  His ADHD had stretched my creative teaching to the limit.  One day, aggravated with his hyperactivity, I spoke more sharply to him and said something like “You are really pushing my buttons today, Jason.  I can’t get anything done because of you.”  He taught me a lesson in his few words of reply “Teacher.  You just don’t worry about me.  You just take care of yourself.” 

He was right.  I couldn’t get anything done because I was frustrated over everything Jason did or didn’t do.  I began to “take care of myself” and got some of my own work done.  Then, oddly enough, Jason became less of an issue.  (Safety ongoing, of course.)

A Parent Snapshot 

I think you’re beginning to get the picture.  Get into the ZONE!  Set your own house in order and you will find that other things begin to fall in place.  Begin today;  start small;  build on success.  Be an EXAMPLE of what you want out of your kids.  Therein, lies success. 

Now, who would have thought, that to get to your kids, you have to first put yourself in a straight line.   Happy NEW YEAR!!

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6. 101 Ways To Be A Solid Mom ~ Step 3: Loving Discipline
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