by Marisue Alsobrook 

I’ve got the blues.  What do you do when you’ve got the blues?  I’ve got a lot of ideas about what to do, but the trouble  is, when you have the blues, you don’t want to do what you should do.  

Depression

When the blues have you down, it’s hard to climb up.  The feeling just sticks to you.  I’m mad at myself for feeling this way, but it’s very hard to shake it off.   I’ll tell you what, though.  Somehow I’m going to accomplish it, because I hate feeling down.  The “down staircase” effects everyone and I’ve had a bit more than my share the last several years.  Coping took all my time, and I think I’m having a delayed reaction.  Yet, daily I use self talk to get me to a happier place in my mind.  It takes a lot of effort, but it works.

Actually, in many ways, life is going pretty well.  Which makes me having the blues even more ridiculous but who ever said feelings were “right” or “wrong?” 

The Bad Part of Good Times

Why am I having a bad time during a good time? Well, that’s my struggle.   I have a good job, though it is full of pressure, but what job doesn’t have it’s share of “ick.”  I get to work with my husband, and we’re building a business that’s growing daily.  The fruit of our labors is not yet shared by our investors, as they are in the counting house, counting all the money and they want more.  Yet, my stubborn reply is:  “Who told you there would be a profit in the first year?”  However, my place is on the front line, dragging in the revenue penny by penny.  And so, we do.  The pressure is pretty heavy at work, but we’re moving steadily up in a down economy and I’m thinking that’s good.  I’ll take that heat okay. 

My brother designed this wonderful website, and I spend a lot of time putting together what will one day be my book.  This has helped me fill my nights, so that’s a plus.

Empty Nest

Empty nest - I hate that term.  Yet, it applies.  Our kids are grown and gone, which is probably most of my problem.  No matter what I do, I feel empty.  Being new to the area, I’ve found out that it’s hard to make friends at 50.  Whine, whine. Yet, we’re very accepted at the functions we attend, still, it’s not like having someone who knows your history with you while you roam from person to person.  New places are a mixture of fun and pain. 

I’m doing some of the things that are supposed to help when depression strikes, and I’m trying to talk myself into doing more.  I’m making a list, adding to it daily.  First, I wrote down the negatives that are bothering me, because when you’re feeling low, they are at the front of your mind.  So, get them on paper!  Then, I’m writing down all my positives.  I don’t like doing that part, because part of me wants to lick my wounds and when you write your long list of positives, you begin to feel kind of sheepish.  Nevertheless, I’m going to stick with my system and write the negatives on the left side of the paper and the positives on the right.  That way, I can see how much longer the list of positives is and start kicking myself right away. 

Or, maybe I’ll wait ’til tomorrow to do the kicking.  Tonight, my husband is taking me to a little waterfront tiki bar for a drink and nachos.  It’s got loud Don Ho music, which stops me from thinking much, except for wondering how I can discreetly cover my ears.  Most everyone is over 50 and they seem to have survived the empty nest syndrome, so that gives me hope.  I try to ignore the walking canes they’re using and the guy with the oxygen tank.   

Ever Onward.  More about kicking the blues, tomorrow.  Wish me Luck!

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