by Marisue Alsobrook

Living Positively

“I’ll tell you that living positively during negative times or situations is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.  People tell me ‘You’re lucky.  You’re always so positive.’  It isn’t luck.  It’s work.  It’s a choice.  It’s controlliing your thoughts. What’s going on inside your head is a huge piece of the success.” 

Keeping our negative thoughts basically to ourselves, until we ‘talk’ ourselves out of it…is important.  Think of a person whom you’ve secretly nicknamed the ‘gloom and doom-er.’  We all know someone like that.  You can count on them to say  ‘Yeah, but’ just when you were feeling good.  Whine whine, all the time.  The wudda, cudda, shudda person from whom you can’t get away fast enough.

Self talk is the key…we can be ‘better’ in a bad time.  Sometimes it involves hanging on to others and sometimes it’s just a matter of hanging on, period.  Maybe forgiveness is the answer, even if the other person doesn’t deserve it.  Think about what you want.  Often, I just want peace and happiness and most of us have to look inward for that.  I hope this article will give you a fresh approach to your own situations.  Let’s get thinking.

We all know the power of positive thinking. Yet, when the going gets tough, staying positive is a challenge. Your husband lost his job, your daughter failed her exams and the car needs a new transmission. That doesn’t even cover the migraine you had for days or your project deadline. Too much at once! Why you! Why now!

Why do we fall victim to negativity?   It seems second nature to blame ourselves when unfortunate circumstances pop up.  Don’t blame!  At the same time, understand your power to change your thinking, which then changes your attitude, which follows with a change in behavior.  We waste energy blaming and causing ourselves to feel guilt.  Okay, so maybe you screwed up.  Learn from it, accept what you did wrong, and step out of the blame game, throwing your energy into problem solving. 

We are what we think! Thinking positively  sounds so “Polyanna.”  We waste time scolding ourselves, and “wishing” the problems away.   Staying positive is a conscious decision and it is work.  Even though your world seems to be caving in, take that first step, even if you can’t see the whole stairway.  One step after another will bring you closer to feeling better, solving the problem. 

Lists are such a valuable tool to taking action and problem solving.  Tell yourself:  “Get Busy!” We must move.

Imagine you want to improve your physical health.  Daydreaming about being on the treadmill, albeit a helpful vision, will not get you in shape. You must step up to the plate and do it! Staying positive is much the same.  Of course it starts with our thoughts, but that’s just the beginning.  Do it;  do something!

Turn the steps below into action. Don’t analyze  - just do it and watch positive outcomes unfold:

Action Steps

* Stay away from whiney babies, even if they are your best friends    

* Spend time with those who lift you up   

* Ask your friends and family for help   

* If someone else has hurt you, realize that they don’t define your life.  You are the sum of so much more.

* Make a list of 10 things that you like about yourself   

• Make a list of 5 things that will help, right now

* Do something physical, it really does clear the mind and help you resolve problems  

* Avoid TV, in particular the news. Unless your life is in danger the world can wait   

* Read positive material, listen to uplifting music 

* Get in touch with God- He’s still there and He will give you ideas   

* Eat healthy food 

* Ignore criticism from others, even and maybe especially, if it’s from your boss.  Most of the time, it stems from their bad day and their jealousy.  Unfortunately, that’s more often true than not, and while they may have some power over you, it doesn’t mean you have to roll over and die from it.  Hang in there and hang tough.  You’re much more successful at what you do than they are going to tell you. 

* Work on improving the atmosphere in the home or office - set the same stage for yourself that you would for a friend

* Be your own best friend

* Get back in touch with a hobby you enjoy 

* Live in the now, believe in the tomorrow

No matter how terrible you feel, follow these steps. When you are at your worst — strengthen your resolve.  Ask your best friends for help.  Clean house, it’s a powerful subliminal message to your soul.  Enjoy a healthy meal; find something to laugh about…sometimes it’s a search, but it’s worth it.  Call an inspiring friend, read the list of positives about you, and take an inspiring book to bed.  Repeat the process tomorrow, it’ll get easier.

Positive thinking changes your life. By being actively positive you will seek solutions instead of focusing on the pain of the problem.  You will reach a peaceful place.  Begin today.  Allow the process to take you to a new place.

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