by Marisue Alsobrook 

Introduction: Dreams, desires, wishes. We all have them and should.  As long as we realize dreams and goals are fullfilled by the energy and time we devote to them, dreams are good for us and give us excitement and hope that tomorrow is going to be better.
Life is full of challenges and I’m not saying our problems are always our fault.  Yet, we must see our part in the situations in which we find ourselves.  It’s worth taking some time to figure out if there’s anything we can do to lighten our load.  I hope this article helps. 

Changing Our Thinking

I was talking with a friend of mine who’s a psychologist and we were discussing a mutual friend of ours who always seems to be in one dilemma after another. I started out saying how sad it made me feel when I thought about all her problems and the psychologist told me she was partially responsible.  I was surprised at first because I thought he was being somewhat cold. Then he said something I hope I always remember:

“For things to change, you must see how you want them to be.  You must have a plan.”

I let the words sink in for a few minutes and then realized how right he was. Our friend seems to spend most of her time focusing on what has happened to her; she’s always a victim because she can only see herself as a victim. So I thought about his comment in the context of daily living.

Have you ever pretended you were happy, when you weren’t?  And, then later, found yourself feeling better?  Well, that’s a part of visualization within reasonable limits.  Of course, no one is talking about living in a fantasy land where all is well, all the time.  But thinking positively and stepping out of sadness and depression even for a few moments at a time, are great coping skills. 

Visualization is part of “The Secret” we’ve been reading and hearing so much about lately. 

If you want to eliminate the “I’m a victim” thinking in your life, here are the 6 secrets to get you started:

1.      Ask yourself:  “What would make me happy that I don’t already have right now?”
2.      Picture it in your mind.
3.      Draw it or write a description of it on paper.
4.      Is it something you can really accomplish or gain?  So many times we fill our wishes with unrealistic thinking or desires.  If that’s the case, resolve now to stop thinking of that and focus on what you can really HAVE.
5.      If it’s real, start listing steps that you can perform daily and weekly that will help you accomplish these dreams. 
6.      Be willing to make the changes.  I had a friend who used to tell me frequently that she was waiting on God to bring her into a better situation.  Finally, I asked her…”Did you ever think that God might be waiting on you to get started on it yourself?”  Think about that.  Common sense tells you that God does not do for man, what man can do for himself.   (If he did, I’m sure I wouldn’t have to cook dinner so often.) 

Ok, I’m not wanting to appear shallow, but give yourself and God a break.  Begin!   Let Him help you accomplish your goals, but do your part by beginning

My sweet friend would do many of the steps except for the most important one, “be willing to make the changes.”  Take a leap of faith, sprinkled with some planning and preparation! Often, we think we can get what we want by wishing.  It does no good to plan the cruise, pack, tell everyone you’re going, and then not get on the ship. 

We must be willing to pay the price of our dreams, realizing that some of what we have to do may be painful.  Change is necessary for dreams to come true…are you ready?

Think about these steps, and then read other articles on self help on this website.

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