By Marisue Alsobrook

Introduction: Linking ourselves to self control and anger management is necessary for happiness and healthy living.  For many, controlling anger is not easy. In fact, I think the energy and tension of anger can even be addictive. Strange as it seems, feeling mad, for some, feels good.  Think about those you know who are always angry.  Makes sense that they get a rush from it, doesn’t it? It’s wrong, but it’s there.  They may have remorse, but it doesn’t seem to stop the next incident.  With time, lack of anger management causes an increasing amount of serious problems in relationships, job success, and often brings legal conflicts.

So when we talk about anger management, for many people, they just can’t make progress very easily. If that sounds like where you stand, instead of thinking about how anger makes you feel, think about how it’s making those you love feel. Let your love for them, your desire to protect them, be the motivation for change.

If you don’t have others in your personal life, think about how anger is affecting your job or your friends. I’ve never seen anything good come from uncontrolled anger. We can change and learn to get what we need from calmer expressions. But, we have to take a hard, personal look deep inside. Some of us can make a fairly simple approach to change. For others, it’s a major step, and one that they might need professional help to take. I hope for your sake, you can keep it simple. We don’t have to change the world. We just need to change ourselves, which changes the world.

Before taking a look at anger management tips, let’s begin by asking ourselves some important questions: 

• Do I respect differences?
• Do I try to force my opinion on others?
• Do I try to control the likes and dislikes of others?
• Why do I get mad at small things that others do?
• Do I monopolize the situation, the conversation, the resolution?

For those that face anger management, tips can be a good way to begin your new journey. Being willing to change is your first great accomplishment. Many people struggle with that one step. They seem stuck in the “blame someone else lane.“ Reading information on anger control is key.

People who are often angry are normally very sensitive, but not so sensitive to others. In other words, their anger is a result of being hurt, maybe even wearing their feelings on their sleeve, but the problem is they don’t understand that other people have feelings as well. They need to develop mental stop signs, giving themselves time to re-group. Pause for the cause. Don’t say the first thing that pops into your mouth, think and predict. Break the habit!

The Best Anger Management Tips For Controlling Your Temper

1. Step Out of the Problem! Sometimes, it is appropriate for the problem to be removed from the individual to reduce the instances of anger. In this anger management tip, you need to find a way to remove the thing that is causing the anger from your life. That may mean finding a new job or finding a new way to live your life. Sometimes, this drastic change is one of the best things for you to do.

2. Avoid the Problem! Can you give it some time? Do you have to react right now? Can you think about it? In my 30+ years of marriage, I’ve often made the decision to just not argue about the current remark, problem, or situation. Then, later, when I re-visit it mentally, it doesn’t seem quite so important; but if it does, I’m normally more calm and ready for a cooperative discussion. It seldom hurts to wait. We don’t have to be the accident looking for a place to happen.

3. Seek out effective anger management information or counseling if needed. Be proactive and preventive. It‘s a lot easier to prevent the wreck than heal from one. You can be discreet, but don’t waste time being embarrassed. We all love those who admit their frailties. If you feel that you can not afford to do this, realize that some employers offer anger management counseling.

5. Pause and Think! Remember the advice our grandparents gave? “Count to 10.” They were talking about that valuable “pause.” It works, but sometimes you might have to count to more than 10.

Decide now to link to self control with practice and pausing to think before you re-act. Understand that anger management is not simple for some people. Those of us who control our tempers most of the time, don’t always understand that others may need a more serious kind of help. Most of the time, only the surface anger is playing out. Professional help might be needed.

If you or someone you love is physically in danger, get some distance from them now, and try to get them or yourself some reliable help. Don’t take chances with your life or the life of your children. The news is full of stories about people who are now dead or seriously injured because they put off getting help, or stayed with someone who was not safe and their gut was telling them that very fact.

If you or your partner are out of control often, do this NOW: Put safe distance between you and seek help.

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