By Marisue Alsobrook

Introduction: If we’re not in control of most of our happiness and attitude, then who is? We CAN change how we think and react to life. We CANNOT always control what life gives us. Our hope, lies in our own thoughts and actions. And always remember the quote from Abraham Lincoln, “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” The quote about Abraham Lincoln is one of my favorites and has gotten me through many stages of my life. We are much more powerful than we believe. We are in control and take charge of our moods and lives. Let’s keep our self-talk positive!

Happy As You Want to Be - Is Happy As You Can Be

Are you as happy as you want to be? You can be happier! Almost everyone has heard the hit single ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy’ by Bobby McFerrin. The song has a very catchy way of conveying its message of being happy to all those who hear this tune. Bobby McFerrin’s simple message surely made a lot of people happy by telling them not to worry.

Living a happy, resilient and optimistic life is desirable by all, and is also good for your health. Being happy actually protects you from the stresses of life. Stress is linked to top causes of death such as heart disease, cancer and stroke.

Change

I’ve read that “The only thing in life that will always remain the same is change.” In our life, we have the power to make the necessary changes to increase our level of happiness, if we want to. Even if we find ourselves in an unbearable situation we can always find solace in the knowledge that this too will pass; we can change our reaction; and maybe we can even change some of what is happening to us.

Connection to a Significant Group

Our connection to a Significant Group or social network or relationship is essential to our happiness. People are different, but our basic needs are the same. We may have different levels of needs, but the connections that keep us mentally healthy and physically safe are the same. How we interact with others in a group strengthens our connections. The absence of contact with groups that are SIGNIFICANT to us can cause us to become decreasingly happy, increasingly depressed and withdrawn. While some people need other people in differing degrees, we all need people with whom we can establish common bonds.

To “fit in” and form lasting connections with others, to find our “Significant Group” (church, club, hobby, co-workers) we should make efforts to:

• Accept people for who or what they are
• Avoid clashes, constant arguments
• Step out of some of our resentments and biases, without comprising reasonable personal standards and values.
• Understand differing points of view
• Respect differences - Respecting differences from ourselves and others helps improve our level of socialization; helping us to be a person others want to be around

Connection to a Source of Joy

Happiness may mean different things to each of us, but we all need joy. What is your joy? A person? A job? Many things?

At the risk of over-simplifying, to be happy is relatively easy, just decide to be a happy person. Abraham Lincoln observed that most people, most of the time, can choose how happy or stressed, how relaxed or troubled, how bright or dull their outlook is to be. If we keep it simple, we can choose to be happy.

Simple Tips for Choosing Happiness:

Possess Gratitude: Being grateful will give you a great attitude. We have so much to be thankful for. Make a list; add to it daily, maybe forever. See if you can name something different everyday- it’s a life changing habit to form.

Examples of things for which to be grateful:

• Thank the driver for bringing you home safely - soberness is a must
• Thank the cook for a wonderful dinner - the labor of others gives us rest
• Thank the person who opens the door for you- small, insignificant unless we think about the random act of kindness
• Be grateful for fresh air - sweet smelling and precious
• Be grateful for freedom - priceless gift, often paid for by strangers
• Be grateful for mail delivery - Contact!
• Be grateful for opportunities to help others – Service to others keeps us grateful and humble (the Brittany’s’ of the world would be less “fitful” if they were actively engaged helping others! – …”Where much is given, much is expected.”)
• Be grateful for trash pick up - Aren’t you glad someone does it?
• Be grateful for family - even those who drive you a little crazy
• Be grateful for pay day - every job at least keeps the roof over your head, no small thing as you see homeless around you
• Be grateful for your pets - how sweet to hug your loved dog or cat, etc
• Be grateful for those who keep you safe - law enforcement, soldiers, government
• Be grateful for your health - maybe this means thinking of the health problems you DON’T have, rather than those you do
• Be grateful for your Faith - A religious connection is also recommended. Being part of a religious group with its singing, sacraments, chanting, prayers and meditations foster inner peace.
• Be grateful for the opportunity to work hard. A sense of accomplishment brings tremendous personal satisfaction, giving us a feeling of being competent. Accomplishments are necessary for all of us, they give us a sense of value. Work on things that you feel are worthy of your time.
• Be grateful for Time - Manage it! Time is invaluable and too important to waste. Time management can be viewed as a list of rules that involves scheduling, setting goals, planning, creating lists of things to do and prioritizing. These are the core basics of time management that should be understood to develop an efficient personal time management skill. These basic skills can be fine tuned further to include the finer points of each skill that can give you that extra reserve to make the results you desire. When you do more with your time, you’ll be happier.
• Be grateful for Laughter - Laugh and laugh heartily everyday. Pass it on!
• Be grateful for the opportunity to learn. Learning is a joyful exercise. Talk About Excitement! Try to learn something new everyday. Learning also makes us expand and broaden our “world view”’ which tends to shrink as we age.
• Be grateful for movement! Run, jog, walk and do other things that your body was made for. Feel alive!

Decide to expose yourself less to the things that give you stress:

• News - Less is More. Some people just can’t start their day without their daily dose of news. Try and think about it, 99% of the news we hear or read is bad news. Starting or ending the day with bad news does not seem to be a sensible thing to do.
• Annoying friends, co-workers, and acquaintances – don’t spend a lot of time with people who bring you down. (We can complain on our own without any help.)
• Less exposure to negative elements like loud noises, toxins and hazardous places. Think safety, pleasure, health and peace.

Express yourself! If you like, say it and say it often! You will soon find that it feels better to compliment rather than complain. Do you have genuine affection for those around you? Enjoy that friendship and passionate interest in others! The people around you need it. They will most likely reciprocate your actions. Try not to keep pent up anger or frustrations from letting others know how much you think of them; how much you care. Instead, spend time finding healthy ways of expressing your feelings. Remember, I said “…healthy ways.” Think: Do No Harm.

What else is important to you? Don’t put it off, procrastination adds to your stress. Do it now, you and those you love are worth it.

Related Posts:

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2. Happiness: Are We Stopping Ourselves From Being Happy?
3. Finding Happiness! Yes, You Can! Here’s The Secret!
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5. Relationship Management
6. Parenting: Begin Where You Are & See Improvements
7. Staying Up In Down Times
8. 101 Ways to Be A Solid Mom - Step 4: Know Their Friends
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